One bright light in a pretty bad season for Fabian Cancellara was another day in the Yellow Jersey at the Tour de France. But after crashing out in the jersey, the Classics and DNFing the Vuelta, meaning he couldn’t ride the Worlds, he has had to resign himself to the fact that 2015 was an annus horriblis. 

“It was not an easy year. I woke up sick after Oman; I had to take a rest there. Then I crashed at E3 and I had to take a rest. Then in the Tour de Suisse I got sick, and I suffered a lot. Then I went to the Tour de France and I won again and I crashed again. That is what is on the table, and I have to live with that. It is definitely not easy. I had some tough times. That is not a secret. An athlete doesn’t want to sit in bed looking at the ceiling or lounge outside counting the stars. I want to ride my bike, and I want to enjoy and suffer on my bike but not in the way [I’ve suffered],” he told VeloNews in a recent interview.

In 2012, Cancellara missed the Classics through an injury in the Tour of Flanders, but he says that year was not as tough as 2015, despite the fact he rode in Yellow and took stage wins in Oman and Tirreno.

“The whole year was like this: If I was off the bike I had pain, and when I was on the bike I was suffering and trying to get back in shape. That’s why it was a tough year and a harder year than in 2012. In the end, I can’t change anything, and I can just go on.”

He talked about his retirement, which many say will come at the end of 2016. The Swiss star says his Trek Factory Racing team have allowed him to decide when he calls quits on his glittering career, which he likes.

“I can choose this by myself, which is also nice. Because in the end, there’s always a second life. Cycling is not everything in life. It’s always part of my life now, but there is always another part of my life. This I see now, and it is always important to see. Yeah, life could be over in just a couple of seconds like in the Tour. I could not ride my bike, and I had to suffer for more months and weeks to get back. I saw fast the reality there, but I think of course the motivation and will are important.”

Cancellara, 34, also spoke about the legacy he is leaving and the way he wants to be remembered. Fans will never forget the Swiss star, who has seven Monuments, with victories spread over 3 of the 5 great Classics, as well as the most days in the Yellow Jersey without winning the race.

“For me, what would be nice is for fans to like me how I was. For me to say I was the best here or the best there is not up to me — it’s up to the people. I still want to be supported by the people and in the hearts of people, and not to be forgotten as soon as I retire. Yeah, I am not Eddy Merckx. I am me. I never won the Tour de France, and we know the Tour de France is what gives you the biggest exposure. But in the end the Tour de France is not what it is all about. I am me, and that is what it is all about. I’m happy about what I achieved and proud of what I did. And this is what I try to do until the end of riding my bike — to get the best result and be remembered by the people.”